Totals from the Blueridge Bike Fest

askmrjesus · 04-16-2010, 11:24 AM

I've just recently returned from the Blueridge Bike Fest, in Roanoke Virginia.

I didn't want to go. It's a Harleyish nightmare of puke, but I was on business, so there I was, in the very heart of Shitsville, USA.

Here are the totals:

Category Number 1: T-Shirts

Wolves: 870
Eagles: 2330
Flames: 6424
Skulls: 2084
Rebel Flags: 4283
Flaming Wolf Skulls: 9

Category Number 2: Fat Stinky Whores

With tattoos: 1452
Without tattoos: 12
With tattoos, but without a noticeable dental plan:1066
With tattoos, without a noticeable dental plan, and wearing a patch on her vest that said "Property of Snake" : 1

You really have to give it up for Snake. So few men are willing to commit on that level.

Category Number 3: Number of bikes I would actually want to ride

Fatbobs: 0

FLXTRDLTRRXXST's: 0

Road Kings with fringe of the floor boards: 0

All other Road Kings: Still 0

Category Number 4: Drunk skinny meth-head chicks in fish net halter tops, who tried to entice me with a 16oz. can of Bud Light at 10:30 Sunday morning: 1

Category Number 5: Fat people

Hard to get a total on this one, let's just go with: Most I've ever seen outside of a Wal-Mart.

Category Number 6: Number of times during the weekend, I wished I were trapped in a coal mine: 84

Category Number 7: Number of people who looked they just got rescued from a coal mine: 6523

And there you have it. The Blueridge Bike Fest (teeth optional).

JC

Particle Man · 04-16-2010, 11:32 AM

good show then, eh?

askmrjesus · 04-16-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Particle Man

good show then, eh?

I can hardly wait for next year...

JC

ontwo · 04-16-2010, 12:05 PM

Rider · 04-16-2010, 12:10 PM

Family reunion I take it?

Trip · 04-16-2010, 12:10 PM

hahahahahaha, nice

that's they only sucky thing about living here, lots of these types have rallys in the area.

askmrjesus · 04-16-2010, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rider

Family reunion I take it?

Yeah, yours.

JC

Rider · 04-16-2010, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

Yeah, yours.

JC

Oh you got me ha ha.

tached1000rr · 04-16-2010, 12:36 PM

Krypt Keeper · 04-16-2010, 12:50 PM

Glad I didn't make it from the sounds of it. Guy on another forum is a local dealer in Roanoke and should of had a display of a couple bikes (not Harley) I actually thought about making it.

I don't have any wolves, flames, skull shirts. Do have one with an eagle on it but thats only my Yuengling shirt.

Never had a cavity so the grill is all good. Actually got an appointment to remove teeth (wisdom) which is the opposite of what you saw.

Never seen meth (don't know if it comes in powder, liquid or what) but have seen the effects of it.

I do have my share of tattoo's, however my leathers hide them. (harley leathers involves assless chaps and vests that allow people to see their ink)

Funny about the mining comment.. I actually work the largest mining company in the state, above ground though.

Wish I had gone now and got a chance to meet you.

04-16-2010, 11:24 AM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Totals from the Blueridge Bike Fest I've just recently returned from the Blueridge Bike Fest, in Roanoke Virginia. I didn't want to go. It's a Harleyish nightmare of puke, but I was on business, so there I was, in the very heart of Shitsville, USA. Here are the totals: Category Number 1: T-Shirts Wolves: 870 Eagles: 2330 Flames: 6424 Skulls: 2084 Rebel Flags: 4283 Flaming Wolf Skulls: 9 Category Number 2: Fat Stinky Whores With tattoos: 1452 Without tattoos: 12 With tattoos, but without a noticeable dental plan:1066 With tattoos, without a noticeable dental plan, and wearing a patch on her vest that said "Property of Snake" : 1 You really have to give it up for Snake. So few men are willing to commit on that level. Category Number 3: Number of bikes I would actually want to ride Fatbobs: 0 FLXTRDLTRRXXST's: 0 Road Kings with fringe of the floor boards: 0 All other Road Kings: Still 0 Category Number 4: Drunk skinny meth-head chicks in fish net halter tops, who tried to entice me with a 16oz. can of Bud Light at 10:30 Sunday morning: 1 Category Number 5: Fat people Hard to get a total on this one, let's just go with: Most I've ever seen outside of a Wal-Mart. Category Number 6: Number of times during the weekend, I wished I were trapped in a coal mine: 84 Category Number 7: Number of people who looked they just got rescued from a coal mine: 6523 And there you have it. The Blueridge Bike Fest (teeth optional). JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

04-16-2010, 11:32 AM	#2
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	good show then, eh? __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

04-16-2010, 12:05 PM	#4
ontwo Designated Drinker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: shitville Moto: 2009 ZX6R Posts: 1,661	__________________

04-16-2010, 12:10 PM	#5
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	Family reunion I take it?

04-16-2010, 12:10 PM	#6
Trip Hold mah beer! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: 80 Miles South of Moto Heaven Moto: 08 R1200GS Posts: 23,268	hahahahahaha, nice that's they only sucky thing about living here, lots of these types have rallys in the area.

04-16-2010, 12:36 PM	#9
tached1000rr WERA White Plate Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: NC Moto: 2009 GSXR 1300 Posts: 2,448

04-16-2010, 12:50 PM	#10
Krypt Keeper Kneedragger Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: VA Moto: CBR1100XX, Daytona 600 Posts: 174	Glad I didn't make it from the sounds of it. Guy on another forum is a local dealer in Roanoke and should of had a display of a couple bikes (not Harley) I actually thought about making it. I don't have any wolves, flames, skull shirts. Do have one with an eagle on it but thats only my Yuengling shirt. Never had a cavity so the grill is all good. Actually got an appointment to remove teeth (wisdom) which is the opposite of what you saw. Never seen meth (don't know if it comes in powder, liquid or what) but have seen the effects of it. I do have my share of tattoo's, however my leathers hide them. (harley leathers involves assless chaps and vests that allow people to see their ink) Funny about the mining comment.. I actually work the largest mining company in the state, above ground though. Wish I had gone now and got a chance to meet you.