Critical Thinking Fail

askmrjesus · 01-24-2011, 08:34 PM

I was in a bad fucking mood today, even more so than usual, and that's saying something.

So, in an effort to make myself feel better, I stopped off at the Supermarket for a giant Kit-Kat bar, but I can't park. There's a fucking traffic jam in the two lanes directly in front of the store. It makes no sense. There are plenty of spaces, I just can't get to them. Fuck this. I drive to the side of the building and park there instead. I had to walk a few extra yards, but I don't have all goddamn day to buy a fucking candy bar.

As I'm walking in, I discover the reason everything is fucked up. Some asshat has parked in the lane in front of the store, at the end of where the spaces begin. In other words, in the middle of the road, effectively blocking half of the traffic flow. Motherfucker. Nobody in the car, no "too fat to waddle my ass that far" handicapped tag, no one bleeding in the front seat, no excuse whatsoever.

Cockbite. Now I'm even more pissed than I was ten minutes ago.

So I go in and buy my Kit-Kat, come out- fucking car is still there.

Then I see the bumper sticker; "Critical Thinking, the other national deficit."

Son of a bitch. Now I have to "meet' this person, or my day will not be complete. I wait. I eat my Kit-Kat, and here she comes...

She's about 45, fat, dressed like a liberal arts student with a degree is uselessness. She pushing a cart with seven tons of shit in it, which means her car has been there at least 45 minutes. She rolls her shit up to the car, opens the door, and is now blocking the entire fucking driving lane, instead of just half of it.

We converse...

"Excuse me, are you completely retarded?"

"What?"

"Retarded, you know, brain damaged at birth, stupid, dim, not as bright as sand."

"I don't know what..."

"Does that look like a parking spot? Do you see any paint on the ground that would indicate this as a reasonable place to park?"

"I was in a hurry."

"OH! A HURRY! Well that explains it. What, the Mensa meeting can't start until you get there with the doughnuts? You know, for someone who thinks their "thinking" is better than everyone elses', you're an inconsiderate moron, and the world would be better off if you rolled your fat ass off a cliff."

Then I left before the police came.

Like I said, bad mood today.

JC

G-Rex · 01-24-2011, 08:41 PM

I approve of this message.

Particle Man · 01-24-2011, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G-Rex

I approve of this message.

I'll second that.

smileyman · 01-24-2011, 08:50 PM

I owe you a six pack sir! whats your pleasure?

Particle Man · 01-24-2011, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smileyman

I owe you a six pack sir! whats your pleasure?

Kit-Kats.

Pay attention.

Avatard · 01-24-2011, 08:59 PM

Dude, if you really did that, you're my hero. I thought only I did fucking shit like that.

askmrjesus · 01-24-2011, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avatard

Dude, if you really did that, you're my hero. I thought only I did fucking shit like that.

You know, if it would have been a TAP-OUT! sticker, or some of the other mindless shit I see around here, I probably would have shook my head in disgust and carried on, but something about this one set me off.

Too smart to park like normal people? Fuck you, no you're not.

JC

dubbs · 01-24-2011, 09:14 PM

That's fucking awesome man..

Dave · 01-24-2011, 09:46 PM

excellent

the chi · 01-25-2011, 08:26 AM

Absolutely wonderful. You get a gold star for that one for sure.

01-24-2011, 08:34 PM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Critical Thinking Fail I was in a bad fucking mood today, even more so than usual, and that's saying something. So, in an effort to make myself feel better, I stopped off at the Supermarket for a giant Kit-Kat bar, but I can't park. There's a fucking traffic jam in the two lanes directly in front of the store. It makes no sense. There are plenty of spaces, I just can't get to them. Fuck this. I drive to the side of the building and park there instead. I had to walk a few extra yards, but I don't have all goddamn day to buy a fucking candy bar. As I'm walking in, I discover the reason everything is fucked up. Some asshat has parked in the lane in front of the store, at the end of where the spaces begin. In other words, in the middle of the road, effectively blocking half of the traffic flow. Motherfucker. Nobody in the car, no "too fat to waddle my ass that far" handicapped tag, no one bleeding in the front seat, no excuse whatsoever. Cockbite. Now I'm even more pissed than I was ten minutes ago. So I go in and buy my Kit-Kat, come out- fucking car is still there. Then I see the bumper sticker; "Critical Thinking, the other national deficit." Son of a bitch. Now I have to "meet' this person, or my day will not be complete. I wait. I eat my Kit-Kat, and here she comes... She's about 45, fat, dressed like a liberal arts student with a degree is uselessness. She pushing a cart with seven tons of shit in it, which means her car has been there at least 45 minutes. She rolls her shit up to the car, opens the door, and is now blocking the entire fucking driving lane, instead of just half of it. We converse... "Excuse me, are you completely retarded?" "What?" "Retarded, you know, brain damaged at birth, stupid, dim, not as bright as sand." "I don't know what..." "Does that look like a parking spot? Do you see any paint on the ground that would indicate this as a reasonable place to park?" "I was in a hurry." "OH! A HURRY! Well that explains it. What, the Mensa meeting can't start until you get there with the doughnuts? You know, for someone who thinks their "thinking" is better than everyone elses', you're an inconsiderate moron, and the world would be better off if you rolled your fat ass off a cliff." Then I left before the police came. Like I said, bad mood today. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

01-24-2011, 08:41 PM	#2
G-Rex Where to next? Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: OK to the C Moto: TL1000R, Hayabusa, R1150RT Posts: 1,333	I approve of this message. __________________

01-24-2011, 08:50 PM	#4
smileyman White Trash Hero Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NW Arkansas Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition Posts: 4,895	I owe you a six pack sir! whats your pleasure? __________________ Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!

01-24-2011, 08:59 PM	#6
Avatard Crotch Rocket Curmudgeon Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Here to integrity Moto: Li'l red baby Ninja Posts: 7,482	Dude, if you really did that, you're my hero. I thought only I did fucking shit like that. __________________ Insert free thought here.

01-24-2011, 09:14 PM	#8
dubbs Multistrada Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Manorville, NY Posts: 652	That's fucking awesome man.. __________________ Sportbike - 2013 Ducati Multistrada S Touring - Red Luxury Car - 2013 Cadillac ATS 2.0 Turbo - Black Weekend Car - 2003 Honda S2000 - Black Daily Driver - 2011 Toyota Prius - Black Beater - 2005 Honda Civic Hybrid - Dust Colored

01-24-2011, 09:46 PM	#9
Dave Chaotic Neutral Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cherry Hill NJ Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt Posts: 13,992	excellent __________________ TWF Post whore #6