Where are you on the scale???

OTB · 11-09-2010, 08:52 AM

Men's Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:

________________________________

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

________________________________

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror.. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

________________________________

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing.. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

________________________________

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car.. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .'

________________________________

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

________________________________

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

________________________________

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

________________________________

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden?
Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

SteveP · 11-09-2010, 09:33 AM

If I wanted lame fwds I would never have blocked my family from email.

OneSickPsycho · 11-09-2010, 10:00 AM

I thought it was funny.... though I seem to be about 10 years older than I really am...

Gas Man · 11-09-2010, 10:02 AM

Funny and accurate, which probably what makes it funny.

OTB · 11-09-2010, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveP

If I wanted lame fwds I would never have blocked my family from email.

Lame my ass.....this is right on.......I saw it and laffed so hard I peed in my Depends.................

...waht...

Who said that?..........Huh................

shmike · 11-09-2010, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneSickPsycho

I thought it was funny.... though I seem to be about 10 years older than I really am...

Me too, except the age thing.

According to that I'm either in my 50's or 60's.

ontwo · 11-09-2010, 10:35 AM

I qualify for the 50s

Krabill · 11-09-2010, 10:44 AM

I don't fit into any of those. I stop what I'm doing, grab my keys and go. I don't give a shit what anybody else at Home Depot thinks about how I look.

Dave · 11-09-2010, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krabill

I don't fit into any of those. I stop what I'm doing, grab my keys and go. I don't give a shit what anybody else at Home Depot thinks about how I look.

Same here

Homeslice · 11-09-2010, 11:09 AM

Disagree with most of it......

In my 20's I could wear whatever beat-up crap I wanted to anywhere, and it didn't matter, because I could still pass as a starving student. Now I can't get away with that shit anymore......I'd look like a homeless dude.

I highly doubt many 20-somethings are showering and changing to go to Home Depot.......It wouldn't make much of a difference, cuz the clothes they buy look distressed anyway (or should I say artificially-distressed).

11-09-2010, 08:52 AM	#1
OTB The Man Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: CrabTown USA Moto: 00 Bimota DB4 Posts: 823	Where are you on the scale??? Men's Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following: ________________________________ In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. ________________________________ In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror.. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. ________________________________ In your 40's: Stop what you are doing.. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. ________________________________ In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car.. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .' ________________________________ In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. ________________________________ In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather. ________________________________ In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. ________________________________ In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted? __________________ http://www.decreasingradius.net/

11-09-2010, 10:02 AM	#4
Gas Man Trip's Assistant Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Imported from Detroit Moto: 2009 HD Street Classic Posts: 12,149	Funny and accurate, which probably what makes it funny. __________________ -Chris "Why pay somebody else to fuck up your bike?" Run Amsoil Product

11-09-2010, 10:35 AM	#7
ontwo Designated Drinker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: shitville Moto: 2009 ZX6R Posts: 1,661	I qualify for the 50s __________________

11-09-2010, 10:44 AM	#8
Krabill WERA Yellow Plate Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Tulsa, OK Moto: 08 WR250R, 12 XTZ1200 Posts: 558	I don't fit into any of those. I stop what I'm doing, grab my keys and go. I don't give a shit what anybody else at Home Depot thinks about how I look. __________________ www.wrrdualsport.com www.designatedvaping.com

11-09-2010, 11:09 AM	#10
Homeslice Elitist Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: SF Bay Area Moto: Gix 750 Posts: 11,351	Disagree with most of it...... In my 20's I could wear whatever beat-up crap I wanted to anywhere, and it didn't matter, because I could still pass as a starving student. Now I can't get away with that shit anymore......I'd look like a homeless dude. I highly doubt many 20-somethings are showering and changing to go to Home Depot.......It wouldn't make much of a difference, cuz the clothes they buy look distressed anyway (or should I say artificially-distressed). Last edited by Homeslice; 11-09-2010 at 02:54 PM..

11-09-2010, 09:33 AM	#2
SteveP Canyon Carver Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pensacola, FL Moto: The v-twin trifecta Posts: 437	If I wanted lame fwds I would never have blocked my family from email.

11-09-2010, 10:00 AM	#3
OneSickPsycho Ride Like an Asshole Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: nothing... Posts: 11,254	I thought it was funny.... though I seem to be about 10 years older than I really am...