I beat the living crap out of Derf.

askmrjesus · 06-11-2009, 12:10 AM

I was at a house party, drinking beer in the kitchen, when I heard all this noise coming from the living room. There were fights going on. Well, actually it was just one fight, but everyone at the party was taking turns being in the fight, sorta tag team style.

When the fight got to the kitchen, it's Derf vs. Liam Neeson, and Derf is knocking the shit out of Liam Neesom, and Liam Neesom is pissed. He's pissed because Derf is punching him in the face while yelling, "Hearts, Moons, Stars, and Clovers!" over and over again.

Finally, Liam Neeson is all tired out, and he has a bloody nose, so he looks at me and says, "It's your turn", so I turned around and punched Derf with a left jab. Derf just smiled, and started saying "Punch me, I'm Irish!" over and over again, which was weird, because he was wearing a bright green t-shirt that said "Punch me, I'm Irish!" He was also wearing bright green socks, but they didn't say anything, as far as I could tell.

Anyway, I punched Derf about 9000 times with my left jab, but he just kept smiling like some kind of deranged leprechaun. "Punch me, I'm Irish!" WAM! "Punch me. I'm Irish!" WAM!...This went on for what seemed like an hour, until finally I said, "This is fucking stupid", and I looked for somebody else to hit Derf for a while, but everyone had left except for Liam Neeson. I told Liam Neeson is was his turn again, but he just yelled "PUNCH HIM, HE'S IRISH!" really loud, which I thought was really fucking strange, because I'm pretty sure Liam Neeson is Irish.

I handed Liam Neeson my beer, and punched Derf in the Solar Plexus with a right-uppercut, and he fell down. He still had that same stupid fucking grin on his face, but one of his green socks was missing.

Then I woke up.

Sorry Derf.

JC

derf · 06-11-2009, 12:33 AM

It's alright I don't mind loosing to God's love child. but Liam, he's a pussy. Yeh, lets take a closer look at this epic battle.

I can't fight laser eyes, and I believe that you might ride dinosaurs too, but Liam is a well known pants-pee'er.

askmrjesus · 06-11-2009, 12:39 AM

Nicely done.

JC

derf · 06-11-2009, 12:44 AM

Yeh i loose to a dinosaur riding half man half god born from a virgin 14 year old girl 2000 years ago who rides a motorcycle and posts on the interwebz

askmrjesus · 06-11-2009, 12:56 AM

I know, it's just not fair.

JC

Fleck750 · 06-11-2009, 01:07 AM

I worked all night in my dream last night. Was tired, no, EXHAUSTED when I woke up this morning. Does anyone else work all night?

Amorok · 06-11-2009, 07:36 AM

I dreamed I was working my wife's ass. Does that count? Wht a gret dream that was.

Adeptus_Minor · 06-11-2009, 10:06 AM

Laser-eyes Jesus is my cell phone wallpaper.

Rider · 06-11-2009, 10:12 AM

Hey JC I've been meaning to ask, what does the H stand for in your middle name?

askmrjesus · 06-11-2009, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rider

Hey JC I've been meaning to ask, what does the H stand for in your middle name?

It stands for Hernia.

This fucking cross weighs a ton.

JC

06-11-2009, 12:10 AM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	I beat the living crap out of Derf. I was at a house party, drinking beer in the kitchen, when I heard all this noise coming from the living room. There were fights going on. Well, actually it was just one fight, but everyone at the party was taking turns being in the fight, sorta tag team style. When the fight got to the kitchen, it's Derf vs. Liam Neeson, and Derf is knocking the shit out of Liam Neesom, and Liam Neesom is pissed. He's pissed because Derf is punching him in the face while yelling, "Hearts, Moons, Stars, and Clovers!" over and over again. Finally, Liam Neeson is all tired out, and he has a bloody nose, so he looks at me and says, "It's your turn", so I turned around and punched Derf with a left jab. Derf just smiled, and started saying "Punch me, I'm Irish!" over and over again, which was weird, because he was wearing a bright green t-shirt that said "Punch me, I'm Irish!" He was also wearing bright green socks, but they didn't say anything, as far as I could tell. Anyway, I punched Derf about 9000 times with my left jab, but he just kept smiling like some kind of deranged leprechaun. "Punch me, I'm Irish!" WAM! "Punch me. I'm Irish!" WAM!...This went on for what seemed like an hour, until finally I said, "This is fucking stupid", and I looked for somebody else to hit Derf for a while, but everyone had left except for Liam Neeson. I told Liam Neeson is was his turn again, but he just yelled "PUNCH HIM, HE'S IRISH!" really loud, which I thought was really fucking strange, because I'm pretty sure Liam Neeson is Irish. I handed Liam Neeson my beer, and punched Derf in the Solar Plexus with a right-uppercut, and he fell down. He still had that same stupid fucking grin on his face, but one of his green socks was missing. Then I woke up. Sorry Derf. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

06-11-2009, 12:33 AM	#2
derf token jewboy Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: CBR 900, KLR ugly ass duckling, Gas Man Posts: 10,799	It's alright I don't mind loosing to God's love child. but Liam, he's a pussy. Yeh, lets take a closer look at this epic battle. I can't fight laser eyes, and I believe that you might ride dinosaurs too, but Liam is a well known pants-pee'er. __________________

06-11-2009, 12:39 AM	#3
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Nicely done. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

06-11-2009, 12:44 AM	#4
derf token jewboy Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: CBR 900, KLR ugly ass duckling, Gas Man Posts: 10,799	Yeh i loose to a dinosaur riding half man half god born from a virgin 14 year old girl 2000 years ago who rides a motorcycle and posts on the interwebz __________________

06-11-2009, 12:56 AM	#5
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	I know, it's just not fair. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

06-11-2009, 01:07 AM	#6
Fleck750 Spiker bike Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: KCK Moto: KZ750 Posts: 1,629	I worked all night in my dream last night. Was tired, no, EXHAUSTED when I woke up this morning. Does anyone else work all night?

06-11-2009, 07:36 AM	#7
Amorok Issukangitok Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Biloxi, MS Moto: '06 Suzuki Boulevard C50T Posts: 2,225	I dreamed I was working my wife's ass. Does that count? Wht a gret dream that was. __________________ What goes around comes around. Sometimes you get what's coming around, and sometimes you are what's coming around. You see what I mean?

06-11-2009, 10:06 AM	#8
Adeptus_Minor Hopster Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Austin, TX Moto: 2009 Buell 1125R Posts: 4,743	Laser-eyes Jesus is my cell phone wallpaper. __________________ “Well, obviously before; after was all gendarmes and dick stitches.”

06-11-2009, 10:12 AM	#9
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	Hey JC I've been meaning to ask, what does the H stand for in your middle name?