Harley pre-ride checklist

tached1000rr · 10-31-2009, 08:20 PM

Saw this on a local forum, thought I would post it here, sorry if it's a repeat:

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

Fleck750 · 10-31-2009, 08:28 PM

Hijacking from ADVrider?

I just read this there.

It is funny, though.

Mr Lefty · 10-31-2009, 09:24 PM

lol

you could do something similar for the stretched out busa's at the local bike nights...

racedoll · 10-31-2009, 10:50 PM

nice one.

VatorMan · 11-01-2009, 10:23 AM

I DO NOT weigh 560 pounds.

MILK · 11-01-2009, 02:28 PM

Good grief some of that is so true!!!

10-31-2009, 08:20 PM	#1
tached1000rr WERA White Plate Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: NC Moto: 2009 GSXR 1300 Posts: 2,448	Harley pre-ride checklist Saw this on a local forum, thought I would post it here, sorry if it's a repeat: Harley rider pre-ride check off list: 1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache 2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid. 3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider 4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed. 5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl. 6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance. 7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability) 8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving 9. Leather pants 10. Gloves 11. Wrap around sunglasses 12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh! 13. CAT work boots (new) 14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives. 15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at. 16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear. 17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough. 18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome. 19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool 20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride. 21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

10-31-2009, 08:28 PM	#2
Fleck750 Spiker bike Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: KCK Moto: KZ750 Posts: 1,629	Hijacking from ADVrider? I just read this there. It is funny, though. __________________ I ride way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown

10-31-2009, 09:24 PM	#3
Mr Lefty TWFix Legend Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Denver CO Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar Posts: 15,677	lol you could do something similar for the stretched out busa's at the local bike nights...

10-31-2009, 10:50 PM	#4
racedoll AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: '04 Kawasaki ZX6RR Posts: 3,392	nice one.

11-01-2009, 10:23 AM	#5
VatorMan Wrap Yo Ass in Fiberglass Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: Feet Posts: 1,605	I DO NOT weigh 560 pounds.

11-01-2009, 02:28 PM	#6
MILK The cows want you dead. Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 2,087	Good grief some of that is so true!!!