Child support laws need a serious overhaul - Page 5

Captain Morgan · 03-10-2010, 10:12 PM

One big problem I have with the system is the way they consider the "cost" of the child. They say it costs X to raise the child in a home and the parents split the cost based on their income percentages. I can understand this, but my problem is that X isn't standard. If there is daycare involved, then the cost of daycare adds to the cost to raise the child (X + daycare). Here's where I get screwed. Example:

We each make a certain amount of money, I contribute 56.5% and she contributes 43.5%. Now, if there is no daycare involved, I would have to pay her mother $53 per week.

However, with daycare at $90 per week, which I pay directly to daycare, I also have to pay her mother $14 per week on top of the $90 I'm paying to daycare. So, instead of me paying $53 per week, I now have to pay $104 total per week, JUST because there is a daycare cost that I am already paying. And here's the kicker. Because I don't get to claim my daughter on taxes, I don't get to claim the cost of daycare. However, if her mother were to pay the daycare, and I paid the $104 to her mom, then her mom would get to deduct the daycare on her taxes, even though I'm basically paying the daycare with her as an escrow for the daycare money. Crock of shit, huh?

Oh, and her mom bitches that she isn't getting very much child support because it's "only" $14 per week. Does she think she'd get to keep more than the $14 per week? The other $90 would still go to daycare and she'd be left with the $14. But, she can't seem to figure that out. However, I refused to pay her the $90 directly because she can't seem to manage money worth a shit and would always be behind on daycare payments to the point they might kick my daughter out. Not to mention the fact that if her mom were to find a cheaper daycare (or someone to watch my daughter for free), I'd be stuck paying her the $104 per week until it could get back to court the following year. This is another problem with the system.

On another note, we both agreed (verbally) to have life insurance of $100k, in case something happened, so the other would get money to take care of the little one. Luckily, I was smart enough that I took out the policy on her and had her take out the policy on me. Why, because I knew she wouldn't be able to manage her money enough to pay the small monthly payment. I was not going to risk her mom not paying the premiums on herself and me not getting any money to support my daughter. Shock and surprise, I was right. She let her life insurance policy on me lapse 2 years ago because she couldn't afford the $15 per month (but she can afford cable). Luckily, my daughter still won't do without if something happens to me because I have other policies that will pay to my mom, with strict instructions it's to be used for my daughter.

I'm doing my best to raise my daughter right. I would love to have her full time, but there is no way I could be married to her mom. So, I'll settle for half, if I can get that much time. Her mom bitched tonight that she misses the little one if she doesn't have her, so she should be allowed to have her more. Does she think I don't miss my daughter??

Apoc · 03-10-2010, 11:28 PM

Dude, no offense, cuz I agree some of the laws are fucked up, but are you really complaining that you have to pay 110$/week for child support??? Sounds like you got off REALLY easy. Most guys I know from work have almost 250$/week deducted from their checks, for one child!!!!

Captain Morgan · 03-10-2010, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apoc

Dude, no offense, cuz I agree some of the laws are fucked up, but are you really complaining that you have to pay 110$/week for child support??? Sounds like you got off REALLY easy. Most guys I know from work have almost 250$/week deducted from their checks, per child!!!!

I'm lucky in the fact that I get to see my daughter more than most dads get to see their kids. If I saw my daughter the "standard" amount, I'd be paying $160 per week. My argument is not with the amount I have to pay, it's with the way the amount is calculated. And that goes for anyone. Why should any person have to pay X+daycare if they're already paying daycare (which is greater than X)? Add to that the fact that there are good dads out there who want to spend time with their children, but get told they're only allowed a small amount of time, then told they have to pay more because they have their kids less time. The system is fucked up, plain and simple.

Apoc · 03-10-2010, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

I'm lucky in the fact that I get to see my daughter more than most dads get to see their kids. If I saw my daughter the "standard" amount, I'd be paying $160 per week. My argument is not with the amount I have to pay, it's with the way the amount is calculated. And that goes for anyone. Why should any person have to pay X+daycare if they're already paying daycare (which is greater than X)? Add to that the fact that there are good dads out there who want to spend time with their children, but get told they're only allowed a small amount of time, then told they have to pay more because they have their kids less time. The system is fucked up, plain and simple.

Understood. I thought you were complaining about the amount itself.

And yes, it is fucked up. If neither parent is unfit, it should be 50/50. And nothing pisses me off more then seeing women collect child support and spend it on everything BUT the child!!!!

Once heard a guy at work talking to his ex, she was pissed because he wouldnt give her his CS early, because she needed the money to go out drinking with her friends that weekend, while he had the kid. Bitches like that should be shot.

zlicius · 03-11-2010, 12:11 AM

This is why I'm never divorcing Ed, or at least not divorcing him until the kids are grown. I plan to make him miserable for at the minimum of the next 18 years. *evilgrin*

Seriously tho, divorce is horrible, and the only one that it hurts is the kids.

I'm very blessed, even though I do not have residential custody, we have a joint arrangement. I see my son every time I can get back to KS and every summer I have him. His dad is a good dad. He's growing up in a small town w/ a good school.

Do I want him to be with me? Oh yes, not a doubt. Has it always been the best for him? Nope, where we lived previously the schools were crap. Now that we've moved, I can say yes, it'd be a good place for him.

In our divorce, my son gets to choose after age 12. He knows this but I will not be going up to him at age 12 and 1 day saying CHOOSE. I wont' be saying anything. If he wants to live here, and it's not because he's pissed at his dad for not buying him something, or for getting into trouble for something (he's never pulled that crap yet, but i'm not going to hold my breath, i remember my teenage years!) then we'll sit down and talk about it like adults. No fighting, no drama. Adults.

All these poor kids caught in the middle.

Archren · 03-11-2010, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyHotWheel

Oh, the worst of all...my kids dont call me Dad anymore.

My ex re-married within 6 months of our divorce in 2008. Fast forward to now... I come home on leave after being deployed for 6 months, and my kids call me by my first name rather than mommy, but they call the step-mom mommy in a heartbeat. They're 2 and 4 and too young to know how to tell the difference, and it pisses me off to no end that the ex and his wife have messed with their heads like that.

azoomm · 03-11-2010, 08:28 AM

My daughters came to me upset because their father wanted them to call his woman mom. I asked them if she would EVER be able to take my place. They laughed. They don't call her mom, but only because she doesn't fit the title, not because I care.

Rider · 03-11-2010, 08:34 AM

I looked into getting a divorce. It would have cost me $2K a moth for child support plus I would have to pay 100% of her bills for 3 years. I can honestly see why husbands kill their wives instead if getting divorced. I'll just live with the situation for another 8 years.

HurricaneHeather · 03-11-2010, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archren

My ex re-married within 6 months of our divorce in 2008. Fast forward to now... I come home on leave after being deployed for 6 months, and my kids call me by my first name rather than mommy, but they call the step-mom mommy in a heartbeat. They're 2 and 4 and too young to know how to tell the difference, and it pisses me off to no end that the ex and his wife have messed with their heads like that.

God, I hate that guy.

CrazyKell · 03-11-2010, 10:18 AM

I'm with Heather on 2 counts. For one, I hate that guy. And for two, this thread is not only good birth control but I'll probably never get married either!

03-10-2010, 10:12 PM	#41
Captain Morgan Let's do another U-turn Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Moto: 2009 V-Strom Posts: 3,816	One big problem I have with the system is the way they consider the "cost" of the child. They say it costs X to raise the child in a home and the parents split the cost based on their income percentages. I can understand this, but my problem is that X isn't standard. If there is daycare involved, then the cost of daycare adds to the cost to raise the child (X + daycare). Here's where I get screwed. Example: We each make a certain amount of money, I contribute 56.5% and she contributes 43.5%. Now, if there is no daycare involved, I would have to pay her mother $53 per week. However, with daycare at $90 per week, which I pay directly to daycare, I also have to pay her mother $14 per week on top of the $90 I'm paying to daycare. So, instead of me paying $53 per week, I now have to pay $104 total per week, JUST because there is a daycare cost that I am already paying. And here's the kicker. Because I don't get to claim my daughter on taxes, I don't get to claim the cost of daycare. However, if her mother were to pay the daycare, and I paid the $104 to her mom, then her mom would get to deduct the daycare on her taxes, even though I'm basically paying the daycare with her as an escrow for the daycare money. Crock of shit, huh? Oh, and her mom bitches that she isn't getting very much child support because it's "only" $14 per week. Does she think she'd get to keep more than the $14 per week? The other $90 would still go to daycare and she'd be left with the $14. But, she can't seem to figure that out. However, I refused to pay her the $90 directly because she can't seem to manage money worth a shit and would always be behind on daycare payments to the point they might kick my daughter out. Not to mention the fact that if her mom were to find a cheaper daycare (or someone to watch my daughter for free), I'd be stuck paying her the $104 per week until it could get back to court the following year. This is another problem with the system. On another note, we both agreed (verbally) to have life insurance of $100k, in case something happened, so the other would get money to take care of the little one. Luckily, I was smart enough that I took out the policy on her and had her take out the policy on me. Why, because I knew she wouldn't be able to manage her money enough to pay the small monthly payment. I was not going to risk her mom not paying the premiums on herself and me not getting any money to support my daughter. Shock and surprise, I was right. She let her life insurance policy on me lapse 2 years ago because she couldn't afford the $15 per month (but she can afford cable). Luckily, my daughter still won't do without if something happens to me because I have other policies that will pay to my mom, with strict instructions it's to be used for my daughter. I'm doing my best to raise my daughter right. I would love to have her full time, but there is no way I could be married to her mom. So, I'll settle for half, if I can get that much time. Her mom bitched tonight that she misses the little one if she doesn't have her, so she should be allowed to have her more. Does she think I don't miss my daughter?? Last edited by Captain Morgan; 03-10-2010 at 10:14 PM..

03-10-2010, 11:28 PM	#42
Apoc For Science. You Monster. Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Canada Moto: '08 HD FLSTSB Posts: 3,546	Dude, no offense, cuz I agree some of the laws are fucked up, but are you really complaining that you have to pay 110$/week for child support??? Sounds like you got off REALLY easy. Most guys I know from work have almost 250$/week deducted from their checks, for one child!!!! __________________ Android OS causes gay. Dont let your child use Android (unless she's a hot female). And dont let your babies grow up to be cowboys, either.

03-11-2010, 12:11 AM	#45
zlicius Kneedragger Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Houston Moto: Gladius Posts: 179	This is why I'm never divorcing Ed, or at least not divorcing him until the kids are grown. I plan to make him miserable for at the minimum of the next 18 years. evilgrin Seriously tho, divorce is horrible, and the only one that it hurts is the kids. I'm very blessed, even though I do not have residential custody, we have a joint arrangement. I see my son every time I can get back to KS and every summer I have him. His dad is a good dad. He's growing up in a small town w/ a good school. Do I want him to be with me? Oh yes, not a doubt. Has it always been the best for him? Nope, where we lived previously the schools were crap. Now that we've moved, I can say yes, it'd be a good place for him. In our divorce, my son gets to choose after age 12. He knows this but I will not be going up to him at age 12 and 1 day saying CHOOSE. I wont' be saying anything. If he wants to live here, and it's not because he's pissed at his dad for not buying him something, or for getting into trouble for something (he's never pulled that crap yet, but i'm not going to hold my breath, i remember my teenage years!) then we'll sit down and talk about it like adults. No fighting, no drama. Adults. All these poor kids caught in the middle.

03-11-2010, 08:28 AM	#47
azoomm moderator chick Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Hill Country TX Moto: Pasta Rockets Posts: 8,917	My daughters came to me upset because their father wanted them to call his woman mom. I asked them if she would EVER be able to take my place. They laughed. They don't call her mom, but only because she doesn't fit the title, not because I care.

03-11-2010, 08:34 AM	#48
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	I looked into getting a divorce. It would have cost me $2K a moth for child support plus I would have to pay 100% of her bills for 3 years. I can honestly see why husbands kill their wives instead if getting divorced. I'll just live with the situation for another 8 years.

03-11-2010, 10:18 AM	#50
CrazyKell Vrooom Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: 06 ZX6R Posts: 4,427	I'm with Heather on 2 counts. For one, I hate that guy. And for two, this thread is not only good birth control but I'll probably never get married either!