Dating Situation?

[Corey]

How much does guy number one know about how you feel towards him? Does he know that you wanna take it a step further than friends, or is it something that you have in mind but haven't expressed to him yet? If it's the former, then I'm torn about how you'd handle it. If it's the latter, then what's the point of telling him? It seems like it'd be something that would be outta left field and make your friendship with him awkward.

Edited to clarify: what does "casual dating" mean?

[CrazyKell]

Originally Posted by Hondahugger

I think that Honesty is the absolute BEST policy. Lies and secrets hurt too much when they're found out after the fact.

This is my reasoning in telling him. I want to be exclusive and I think it is moving in that direction. I don't want him to find out after the fact or from someone else.

I don't think I "owe" him anything and I wouldn't think the he owes me anything. But I want to start this honestly. I just don't want to fuck it up by telling him.

[anthonyk]

Did you break some kind of promise, or fail to meet some kind of mutual expectation? If not, don't tell him. He gets nothing positive from it, and the possible downside is huge.

My wife dated some guy after she and I met, but before we became exclusive. I can't remember if she slept with him or not, but there were some shenanigans. She told me about it after we were married, and I didn't care at all. If she'd told me at the time, I probably would have been pretty pissed off, even though I didn't really have any rational reason to be upset. I say don't risk it.

Edit: I hate run-on paragraphs.

[shmike]

Originally Posted by Hondahugger

alright, lets pretend you're not engaged to Tiffany and all of that and you've been dating a girl for a couple of weeks, but there's nothing exclusive. After the date, one thing leads to another and you sleep together. Condoms used, yada, yada, yada.

How would you feel if the next day, she up and tells you she had sex with some other guy right before your date with her the night before? And then another guy the day before?

If it were right before the date I'd make sure that ho washed up before she saw me.

If we were not exclusive I have no right nor need to know.

The question was asked: should she tell him?

In your scenario, I would rather not know. It's none of my business.

FYI, I have not always been with T.

I have dated multiple women on multiple occasions. Some were dating multiple men. Very rarely, have I exchanged sexual resumes and / or timelines with references.

[Hondahugger]

Originally Posted by CrazyKell

This is my reasoning in telling him. I want to be exclusive and I think it is moving in that direction. I don't want him to find out after the fact or from someone else.

I don't think I "owe" him anything and I wouldn't think the he owes me anything. But I want to start this honestly. I just don't want to fuck it up by telling him.

Okay, I understand that, but he's had LONG enough to take a step in the next direction and he's being dormant.

And like I said, if you allowed yourself to do something with someone else, the feelings that you think you have with him aren't what you think they are.

Originally Posted by shmike

I have dated multiple women on multiple occasions. Some were dating multiple men. Very rarely, have I exchanged sexual resumes and / or timelines with references.

I think that right there is what terrifies me about being single again.

[Over200]

Originally Posted by CrazyKell

This is my reasoning in telling him. I want to be exclusive and I think it is moving in that direction. I don't want him to find out after the fact or from someone else.

I don't think I "owe" him anything and I wouldn't think the he owes me anything. But I want to start this honestly. I just don't want to fuck it up by telling him.

I think you should go for it...Worst case scenerio..The bottom falls out and I'll be there for ya!

[Corey]

Originally Posted by Hondahugger

Okay, I understand that, but he's had LONG enough to take a step in the next direction and he's being dormant.

And like I said, if you allowed yourself to do something with someone else, the feelings that you think you have with him aren't what you think they are.

But wouldn't that still depend on what "casual dating" means to them? To me, casual dating is one person taking things far more serious than the other, or even one person under the impression that they're dating while the other person sees it as hanging out. If that weren't the case, wouldn't it just be "dating"? If there is some kind of partial relationship going on, then by all means, tell them. But I get the impression that there isn't, or else why would Kell be looking at option B when she's still interested in option A? Am I reading too much into this?

[Apoc]

Sometimes silence is is the best policy. This is one of those times.

[CrazyKell]

Originally Posted by Corey

But wouldn't that still depend on what "casual dating" means to them? To me, casual dating is one person taking things far more serious than the other, or even one person under the impression that they're dating while the other person sees it as hanging out. If that weren't the case, wouldn't it just be "dating"? If there is some kind of partial relationship going on, then by all means, tell them. But I get the impression that there isn't, or else why would Kell be looking at option B when she's still interested in option A? Am I reading too much into this?

Yes you are reading too much into it.

I'm not looking at Option B. Option B was a very drunken mistake.

[xx CURVE xx]

Oh and no