I may be getting rid of a longtime friend

Captain Morgan · 10-25-2009, 01:23 PM

I've known this guy for more than 20 years. But over the past couple years I've seen more and more things I don't like.

He cheats on his wife constantly and uses me as an alibi.

He has quit at least 4 jobs by simply not showing up. No notice, no contact after they've called and asked where he is, nothing. On one of the jobs, he'd been hired by someone that use to be a friend. He quit less than a week later. Just stopped going. Didn't even call her, didn't even care. He wanted me to ask my dad to hire him for some work. Yeah, right.

He and his wife borrowed money from his brother to get some training for a job. They moved 1500 miles away. His wife got hired and he didn't. She decided she didn't like where they lived and left him to come back here. He had no money, no job, nothing, so he came back. He asked his brother for money to make his car payments. His bother agreed, as long as the guy didn't go back to his wife (who he'd already been divorced from once, but had remarried).

My friend didn't really want to stay with his dad or grandma, so he slept on my couch for two weeks. He stayed up till 6 am and slept till 2 or 3 in the afternoon. On my couch. In the only part of my house for my daughter and I to play when the weather is nasty. I asked him if he could simply stay somewhere else while I had my daughter. He got mad and decided to just stay with his dad. That lasted a day, maybe 2, then he went back to his wife. I ran into his brother about 3 weeks later and we got to talking.

I had no idea his brother didn't want him to go back to his wife, or that his brother had even loaned him more money. His brother asked about my friend and how it was going at their dad's house. I laughed and said he was back with his wife. Obviously, his brother wasn't happy. He had been talking to his brother this whole time and had been telling him he was staying with their dad, while he was really back with his wife.

My friend's wife and I don't see eye to eye. She is a vindictive bitch, even on shit she really shouldn't be pissed about. One night, their hot water heater went out. Their landlord wasn't going to be able to get to it for a day or two, so I went and worked on it. It was 9pm and I had not eaten dinner cause I just got off work. They said they had food and I could have some if I fixed the water heater. Problem was, Lowe's and Home Depot were closing soon. I went straight to work on the water heater. His wife was in the kitchen and I asked if she could warm up some food while I worked on the water heater and I'd eat while working. She didn't think she should have to and said I was being chauvenistic (sp?). To get even with me, she got on some gay websites and gave out my phone number. My friend thought it was funny.

My friend and I started playing on a pool league. His wife joined. It turned out that one of the players on another team was an old friend of mine from high school. She and I hung out that night. My friend's wife has hated that girl since high school because she thinks the girl stole her boyfriend. 15+ years ago, and she still hates the girl. To get back at me for hanging out with this girl that night, she gave my phone number to a psycho chick that use to stalk me. My friend said he wasn't going to get in the middle of it.

I had moved my stuff back to Terre Haute from Indianapolis and was going to keep it in my parent's garage. I brought some of my friend's stuff back with me. Stuff he'd had in storage. I asked him to come help me unload the truck, since I was bringing his stuff back. He no-showed on me. Didn't answer his phone. I took his stuff to his house and left it on the porch.

I bought a house 10 months later. I asked him to help me move. He said he would. He no-showed again. Didn't answer his phone. Couldn't understand why I was mad at him.

I've been staking him on poker online. He plays very well and makes decent money at it. We split profits. He recently started getting rakeback from the sites he plays on. For those that don't know, rake is part of a tournament entry fee or part of the money the house collects from a cash game to help pay for running the site or the casino. Anyway, rake is paid directly out of entry fee money. He was getting a discounted rake, but felt it was ok for him to keep that money he got back, rather than putting it back into the stake to go towards profit that would be split up.

I told him it was wrong, he said he had a right to keep the money, that I was calling him a thief and that he didn't want me to stake him anymore. He'd go find someone else to stake him. And he wouldn't be telling them about getting rakeback, because he shouldn't have to let them know. With this rakeback, he could actually lose the stakers money, and yet he would still make money by getting rakeback. I think that's something any staker should be aware of. If they agree to it, that's their choice, but they should at least know. He doesn't think they should know about it at all. But he's not a thief.

The guy has shown a pattern of complete lack of respect for anyone but himself. We've been friends a LONG time, but I'm not sure I really want to be friends with someone like that.

Trip · 10-25-2009, 01:30 PM

Cut him out, that dude is a lousy friend, you should of ditched him a long time ago.

CasterTroy · 10-25-2009, 01:32 PM

Wow...that guys a real terd!

You've got no reason NOT to shut that friendship down and flush it!

I've had to flush friendships as well.....20+ yr friendships...but now I feel bad that it wasn't over anything NEAR as bad as this one

It sucks...but you have to do it

Kaneman · 10-25-2009, 01:34 PM

I would've dropped that guy 10 years ago dude. What a fuckin' loser.

I had a big group of friends from high school, and over the course of the 10 years since I've dropped all but 2 of them. Life is way to short to call people like that your friend. I'm not the moral police for my friends, but if they can't be counted on to do things you would expect from someone that you consider close then they're no friend...they're a dirty mooch, so fuck 'em.

In this case judging by the type of woman he's drawn to he's obviously some sort of narcissist/drama queen. Why bother man?

Captain Morgan · 10-25-2009, 01:51 PM

Some of this stuff didn't show up till about 2 or 3 years ago, but the majority has been in the last year. The cheating on the wife has been going on a long time. While I didn't like it, I didn't feel it was my place. The other stuff started happening slowly. I let things slide at first because we'd been friends for so long, but as you can see, things just keep getting worse. I think you all are right. Time to cut loose.

Amber Lamps · 10-25-2009, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

Some of this stuff didn't show up till about 2 or 3 years ago, but the majority has been in the last year. The cheating on the wife has been going on a long time. While I didn't like it, I didn't feel it was my place. The other stuff started happening slowly. I let things slide at first because we'd been friends for so long, but as you can see, things just keep getting worse. I think you all are right. Time to cut loose.

Dude! This thread should have been written 15+ years ago about a friend you had for 5 years or less. I know that you are saying that this pattern didn't start until recently but I bet if you really looked at him with the buddy goggles off, you'd see that this has been him the whole time. Either that or you have changed in the last few years and behavior you may have excused a few years ago is no longer acceptable.

Be strong and cut this guy loose. You seem like a nice guy and a person of character and strength. Don't surround yourself with people that will bring you down financially or spiritually. You have your head on straight and have your priorities in order...people like that can only be a detriment to you and your daughter. Best left behind and forgotten....

Lamnidae · 10-25-2009, 02:12 PM

Yeah time to cut all ties dude.

Sucks you're loosing a long time friend... but seriously think about it. Was he ever really that good of a friend???

Papa_Complex · 10-26-2009, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

Some of this stuff didn't show up till about 2 or 3 years ago, but the majority has been in the last year. The cheating on the wife has been going on a long time. While I didn't like it, I didn't feel it was my place. The other stuff started happening slowly. I let things slide at first because we'd been friends for so long, but as you can see, things just keep getting worse. I think you all are right. Time to cut loose.

The moment that he decided to use you as an alibi, it was your place to comment.

Rider · 10-26-2009, 11:12 AM

Douchebag with a capital D. I usually put garbage to the curb at the first instance of douchebaggery. It's hard to let friends go but lets face it, he really isn't a friend.

Dave · 10-25-2009, 03:47 PM

i didnt even finish that. Kick him and his bitch to the curb

10-25-2009, 01:23 PM	#1
Captain Morgan Let's do another U-turn Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Moto: 2009 V-Strom Posts: 3,816	I may be getting rid of a longtime friend I've known this guy for more than 20 years. But over the past couple years I've seen more and more things I don't like. He cheats on his wife constantly and uses me as an alibi. He has quit at least 4 jobs by simply not showing up. No notice, no contact after they've called and asked where he is, nothing. On one of the jobs, he'd been hired by someone that use to be a friend. He quit less than a week later. Just stopped going. Didn't even call her, didn't even care. He wanted me to ask my dad to hire him for some work. Yeah, right. He and his wife borrowed money from his brother to get some training for a job. They moved 1500 miles away. His wife got hired and he didn't. She decided she didn't like where they lived and left him to come back here. He had no money, no job, nothing, so he came back. He asked his brother for money to make his car payments. His bother agreed, as long as the guy didn't go back to his wife (who he'd already been divorced from once, but had remarried). My friend didn't really want to stay with his dad or grandma, so he slept on my couch for two weeks. He stayed up till 6 am and slept till 2 or 3 in the afternoon. On my couch. In the only part of my house for my daughter and I to play when the weather is nasty. I asked him if he could simply stay somewhere else while I had my daughter. He got mad and decided to just stay with his dad. That lasted a day, maybe 2, then he went back to his wife. I ran into his brother about 3 weeks later and we got to talking. I had no idea his brother didn't want him to go back to his wife, or that his brother had even loaned him more money. His brother asked about my friend and how it was going at their dad's house. I laughed and said he was back with his wife. Obviously, his brother wasn't happy. He had been talking to his brother this whole time and had been telling him he was staying with their dad, while he was really back with his wife. My friend's wife and I don't see eye to eye. She is a vindictive bitch, even on shit she really shouldn't be pissed about. One night, their hot water heater went out. Their landlord wasn't going to be able to get to it for a day or two, so I went and worked on it. It was 9pm and I had not eaten dinner cause I just got off work. They said they had food and I could have some if I fixed the water heater. Problem was, Lowe's and Home Depot were closing soon. I went straight to work on the water heater. His wife was in the kitchen and I asked if she could warm up some food while I worked on the water heater and I'd eat while working. She didn't think she should have to and said I was being chauvenistic (sp?). To get even with me, she got on some gay websites and gave out my phone number. My friend thought it was funny. My friend and I started playing on a pool league. His wife joined. It turned out that one of the players on another team was an old friend of mine from high school. She and I hung out that night. My friend's wife has hated that girl since high school because she thinks the girl stole her boyfriend. 15+ years ago, and she still hates the girl. To get back at me for hanging out with this girl that night, she gave my phone number to a psycho chick that use to stalk me. My friend said he wasn't going to get in the middle of it. I had moved my stuff back to Terre Haute from Indianapolis and was going to keep it in my parent's garage. I brought some of my friend's stuff back with me. Stuff he'd had in storage. I asked him to come help me unload the truck, since I was bringing his stuff back. He no-showed on me. Didn't answer his phone. I took his stuff to his house and left it on the porch. I bought a house 10 months later. I asked him to help me move. He said he would. He no-showed again. Didn't answer his phone. Couldn't understand why I was mad at him. I've been staking him on poker online. He plays very well and makes decent money at it. We split profits. He recently started getting rakeback from the sites he plays on. For those that don't know, rake is part of a tournament entry fee or part of the money the house collects from a cash game to help pay for running the site or the casino. Anyway, rake is paid directly out of entry fee money. He was getting a discounted rake, but felt it was ok for him to keep that money he got back, rather than putting it back into the stake to go towards profit that would be split up. I told him it was wrong, he said he had a right to keep the money, that I was calling him a thief and that he didn't want me to stake him anymore. He'd go find someone else to stake him. And he wouldn't be telling them about getting rakeback, because he shouldn't have to let them know. With this rakeback, he could actually lose the stakers money, and yet he would still make money by getting rakeback. I think that's something any staker should be aware of. If they agree to it, that's their choice, but they should at least know. He doesn't think they should know about it at all. But he's not a thief. The guy has shown a pattern of complete lack of respect for anyone but himself. We've been friends a LONG time, but I'm not sure I really want to be friends with someone like that.

10-25-2009, 01:32 PM	#3
CasterTroy ................ Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NC Posts: 3,028	Wow...that guys a real terd! You've got no reason NOT to shut that friendship down and flush it! I've had to flush friendships as well.....20+ yr friendships...but now I feel bad that it wasn't over anything NEAR as bad as this one It sucks...but you have to do it __________________ “Being tolerant does not mean that I share another one’s belief. But it does mean that I acknowledge another one’s right to believe, and obey, his own conscience.” Viktor Frankl

10-25-2009, 01:34 PM	#4
Kaneman AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Odessa, TX Moto: 2000 Honda CBR1100XX Blackbird Posts: 4,931	I would've dropped that guy 10 years ago dude. What a fuckin' loser. I had a big group of friends from high school, and over the course of the 10 years since I've dropped all but 2 of them. Life is way to short to call people like that your friend. I'm not the moral police for my friends, but if they can't be counted on to do things you would expect from someone that you consider close then they're no friend...they're a dirty mooch, so fuck 'em. In this case judging by the type of woman he's drawn to he's obviously some sort of narcissist/drama queen. Why bother man? __________________ 1982 Honda XR80 - blown motor, 1993 Kawasaki ZX6D - sold, 2001 Suzuki Bandit 1200S - sold, 1984 Honda Magna - sold, 2001 Kawasaki ZRX1200R - blown motor, 2007 Suzuki DL1000 V-Strom - totalled, 2003 Yamaha FZ1 - sold, 1994 Honda Magna - sold, 2001 Honda CBR600F4i - sold, 1998 Suzuki DR350 - stolen, 1989 Honda Super Magna - sold, 2007 Yamaha Stratoliner, 2000 Honda CBR 1100XX Blackbird

10-25-2009, 01:51 PM	#5
Captain Morgan Let's do another U-turn Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Moto: 2009 V-Strom Posts: 3,816	Some of this stuff didn't show up till about 2 or 3 years ago, but the majority has been in the last year. The cheating on the wife has been going on a long time. While I didn't like it, I didn't feel it was my place. The other stuff started happening slowly. I let things slide at first because we'd been friends for so long, but as you can see, things just keep getting worse. I think you all are right. Time to cut loose.

10-26-2009, 11:12 AM	#9
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	Douchebag with a capital D. I usually put garbage to the curb at the first instance of douchebaggery. It's hard to let friends go but lets face it, he really isn't a friend.

10-25-2009, 03:47 PM	#10
Dave Chaotic Neutral Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cherry Hill NJ Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt Posts: 13,992	i didnt even finish that. Kick him and his bitch to the curb