WTF---Never again...

Cruzergirl · 12-22-2009, 04:12 PM

...will I loan out my stuff...ever.

So, a good friend of mine (or so I thought) wanted to try her hand at road biking. I loaned her my Felt (~$1600), a pair of shoes, shorts, helmet, gloves, etc. You get the idea.

When I gave it to her there was one rub on the beautiful orange paint. I asked her to be careful with it and treat it as her own (my mistake).

I got it back today (Oh, did I mention that I delivered it AND picked it up AND loaned her the bike rack which somehow managed to fall off her car into the middle of the street...geesh). There are two gouges in the frame that go down to the metal (when she mentioned that she "threw it into the back of a friend's truck" I thought she was exaggerating. The bike is also quite filthy.

Now, I really want to just yell and scream at her for being such a careless twit! But, I would like to keep a friend (my SO is best friends with her SO) and keep some peace.

Any thoughts on how to get the point across that I am hurt and angry while being tactful?

Thanks and... rant off.

marko138 · 12-22-2009, 04:14 PM

SHoulda lit her up when you first saw it. You lost the opportunity. Chalk it up as a loss at this point and move on.

Cruzergirl · 12-22-2009, 04:16 PM

She had the maintenance guy let me in her condo. She's not even in the state. I haven't seen or spoken to her about it yet.

marko138 · 12-22-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruzergirl

She had the maintenance guy let me in her condo. She's not even in the state. I haven't seen or spoken to her about it yet.

Well, call her ass up and light the fire.

Cruzergirl · 12-22-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138

Well, call her ass up and light the fire.

But... how do I do so tactfully...?

neebelung · 12-22-2009, 04:20 PM

Well since she's outta town, it gives you a chance to calm down about it (cus if I were you, I'd be LIVID right about now). I'd quite frankly sit her down and tell her very honestly (and calmly), "Hey, I acted in good faith by loaning you something that is not only very valuable, but important to me, and I have to admit, I was rather disappointed when I didn't get it back in the same condition that I loaned it to you in...." Give her a chance to speak at this point... then go on and describe specifically what's wrong... give her another chance to speak at this point (the apologies should be pouring out at this point, and hopefully some offers to rectify the problem)....you can determine your response based on what she says....

Just be honest, and calm.

shmike · 12-22-2009, 04:21 PM

I'd leave her a nice yet stern note to read upon arrival home.

Sometimes verbal confrontation can lead to emotion ruling the discussion.

I'll never understand people that mistreat other's stuff.

If I ever borrow something you can be assured it will be returned in the same (usually better) condition than when I borrowed it. If that isn't possible the owner will be made whole.

Cruzergirl · 12-22-2009, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neebelung

Well since she's outta town, it gives you a chance to calm down about it (cus if I were you, I'd be LIVID right about now). I'd quite frankly sit her down and tell her very honestly (and calmly), "Hey, I acted in good faith by loaning you something that is not only very valuable, but important to me, and I have to admit, I was rather disappointed when I didn't get it back in the same condition that I loaned it to you in...." Give her a chance to speak at this point... then go on and describe specifically what's wrong... give her another chance to speak at this point (the apologies should be pouring out at this point, and hopefully some offers to rectify the problem)....you can determine your response based on what she says....

Just be honest, and calm.

Thank you. These words have not even been in my head as I have been so beside myself with anger that I can't concentrate.

Thanks for the quote! I just might use exactly that.

wildchild · 12-22-2009, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neebelung

Well since she's outta town, it gives you a chance to calm down about it (cus if I were you, I'd be LIVID right about now). I'd quite frankly sit her down and tell her very honestly (and calmly), "Hey, I acted in good faith by loaning you something that is not only very valuable, but important to me, and I have to admit, I was rather disappointed when I didn't get it back in the same condition that I loaned it to you in...." Give her a chance to speak at this point... then go on and describe specifically what's wrong... give her another chance to speak at this point (the apologies should be pouring out at this point, and hopefully some offers to rectify the problem)....you can determine your response based on what she says....

Just be honest, and calm.

this sounds like a very responsible and good tactic.

I would definitely not just let it go. It will eat you up inside. If the damage is enough you could ask her to repair it.

I would not let anyone use my roadbike. I've had one person ask and I offered them my cheap trail bike. They declined that saying they were hoping to ride the roadie. yeah no.

marko138 · 12-22-2009, 04:31 PM

These guys are giving you bad advice. Call this person now and tear her shit up! Turn your shit up to 11.

12-22-2009, 04:12 PM	#1
Cruzergirl Its a good day. Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pace, FL Moto: Victory Kingpin Low Posts: 951	WTF---Never again... ...will I loan out my stuff...ever. So, a good friend of mine (or so I thought) wanted to try her hand at road biking. I loaned her my Felt (~$1600), a pair of shoes, shorts, helmet, gloves, etc. You get the idea. When I gave it to her there was one rub on the beautiful orange paint. I asked her to be careful with it and treat it as her own (my mistake). I got it back today (Oh, did I mention that I delivered it AND picked it up AND loaned her the bike rack which somehow managed to fall off her car into the middle of the street...geesh). There are two gouges in the frame that go down to the metal (when she mentioned that she "threw it into the back of a friend's truck" I thought she was exaggerating. The bike is also quite filthy. Now, I really want to just yell and scream at her for being such a careless twit! But, I would like to keep a friend (my SO is best friends with her SO) and keep some peace. Any thoughts on how to get the point across that I am hurt and angry while being tactful? Thanks and... rant off.

12-22-2009, 04:21 PM	#7
shmike Follower Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 5,549	I'd leave her a nice yet stern note to read upon arrival home. Sometimes verbal confrontation can lead to emotion ruling the discussion. I'll never understand people that mistreat other's stuff. If I ever borrow something you can be assured it will be returned in the same (usually better) condition than when I borrowed it. If that isn't possible the owner will be made whole. __________________ Racing For Smiles

12-22-2009, 04:16 PM	#3
Cruzergirl Its a good day. Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pace, FL Moto: Victory Kingpin Low Posts: 951	She had the maintenance guy let me in her condo. She's not even in the state. I haven't seen or spoken to her about it yet.

12-22-2009, 04:20 PM	#6
neebelung Ornery, scandalous & evil Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Jacksonville, FL Moto: 2004 Scarlet R1 Posts: 5,962	Well since she's outta town, it gives you a chance to calm down about it (cus if I were you, I'd be LIVID right about now). I'd quite frankly sit her down and tell her very honestly (and calmly), "Hey, I acted in good faith by loaning you something that is not only very valuable, but important to me, and I have to admit, I was rather disappointed when I didn't get it back in the same condition that I loaned it to you in...." Give her a chance to speak at this point... then go on and describe specifically what's wrong... give her another chance to speak at this point (the apologies should be pouring out at this point, and hopefully some offers to rectify the problem)....you can determine your response based on what she says.... Just be honest, and calm.