Belly up to the Bar (aka The Post Whorin' Thread)

[njchopper87]

Blargh. I hate accidentally shifting to neutral; especially when there's people around that understand what I did wrong. Damn you other biker. I bet you had a good laugh.

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by njchopper87

Blargh. I hate accidentally shifting to neutral; especially when there's people around that understand what I did wrong. Damn you other biker. I bet you had a good laugh.

even worse if you try takin goff from a pack of cars, wind out first then miss second LOL

[Dave]

Can you get ptsd from a blow job?

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by Dave

Can you get ptsd from a blow job?

If shes ( I am assuming its a she ) does a cheesegreater type job I would have to say yes.

[Rangerscott]

Some womwn need a cheesegrater for all the cheese they make downstairs. They dont call them tacos for nothing. Some tacos are just cheeseier than others.

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by Rangerscott

Some womwn need a cheesegrater for all the cheese they make downstairs. They dont call them tacos for nothing. Some tacos are just cheeseier than others.

You dont want to see all the cottage cheese I have seen at work

[Rangerscott]

Im a mild cheddar guy.

[Dave]

Originally Posted by tommymac

If shes ( I am assuming its a she ) does a cheesegreater type job I would have to say yes.

ok so since i've now given up on Liz and am offically in free agency i've been digging up old friends and trying to find some decent prospects, normal shit right? well theres this cougar I used to work with: tall curly brunette with legs for days who got out of a messy war related divorce some years ago and from the resulting baggage has some pretty open sexual habits. I very nearly took her to bed years ago when we were working together but I couldnt make myself cheat on Vic, so theres been all kinds of unworked tension between us. She and I both know that theres no way in hell we could have anything past an affair. talked and agreed upon about a million times. SO touched base last week and she starts talking in that direction. Has a guy but apparently they are both open, said I wasnt real comfortable with that and she talked me into it saying she didnt consider me fucking her as using her but more like settling an old score. set up a date for thursday and get a text an hour or two later saying that her cycle started and maybe next week. no problem and i forget about it. texts me on the way home inviting me out to make out and see if we still like each other. shower shave change and go to meet her at her office. make out a little bit and go to the bar. first she starts trying to psychoanalyze me which tends to piss me the fuck off then she drops the bomb on me that she was supplimenting her unemployment last summer by working as an escort (pretty glad for that cycle about now, cause I no longer want anything to do with her vagina) then starts talking to some deaf kid who looks like quentin tarantino and his gorgeous fiance and im bout ready to bounce. hang out for a smoke and then shes got to pee and shes shitfaced so i walk her back to her office and go inside to use the bathroom. make out a little more and she says something about wanting to have sex but its lady week and I say yeah but you used to call it something else (blowjob week) so she says alright cmon and drags me upstairs. this is where things go total shitshow, I try to kiss her and get her warmed up a bit and she starts accusing me of kissing her too hard and trying to fuck her like my ex, like young girls, etc. make adjustments, slow down, doesnt fucking matter im hearing the same shit. finally she accidentally brushes against my cock and remembers what vic had told her about me and says she wants to see it. So I pull it out she cant stop talking about how thick it is and she cant believe it and she cant wait to tell the other girls we used to work with (like duh I told her Ive never finished from a blowjob and that its never been successfully deep throated you would think she could have figured it out herself) and FINALLY she starts getting to work. goes too hard at first (looks like she broke some capillaries) and then anytime she starts getting a decent rhythm going she stops and starts crying or calling me a bastard or talking about how wide i am and its a good thing that shes on the rag cause she wouldnt be able to let me be on top and blah blah blah its like a fucking bipolar thunderstorm of shit. And at this point all i want to do is get my clothes and get the fuck out. get outside and smoke and shes still crying and saying she loves me and i just say look. i like you as a friend but following you upstairs tonight was a huge mistake for both of us and we should just forget it ever happened, she says what happened and i say good girl. get her somewhat more intact and she walks me to my train home. call Vic and tell her about my shittastic evening (we're cool exes now and tell each other just about everything) and then burn my shit with some alcohol based hand sanitizer. probably wont do any good but it made me feel better anyway.

Have a tenative date with one of Vic's friends this weekend. Very excited about it, cant go any worse, can it?

[Trip]

God, this makes me fuckin happy I am married.

[Dave]

Originally Posted by Trip

God, this makes me fuckin happy I am married.

Yeah fuck you. Single life blows dicks. Specially when I thought I had the one