Ladies, do something nice for us when you feel intimate - Page 4

Captain Morgan · 12-16-2008, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fnfalman

When you feel close, cozy, comfortable and just in general wanting to be intimate with me, PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE with sugar on top, DO NOT FART.

Cuddle with me, hold my hands, kiss me, tongue my asshole, lick my balls, SOMETHING...ANYTHING but FART.

That's just not nice. It's hard for me to appreciate your tenderness when I'm gasping for air and curse myself to heaven for taking you out for that fine gourmet dinner.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shmike

I hooked up with this chick on a handful of occasions.

Once, after doing the deed, she excused herself and went into my bathroom. As I lay there relatively satisfied, I hear something.

Some people "break" wind. This girl destroyed / annihilated / decimated wind. To this day I am not sure if it was a fart or the worlds largest queef.

I regained my composure by the time she came back to the room. Suddenly I was tired and she needed to leave.

We haven't spoken since.

I have one better. I was banging this chick pretty had, had her legs up while I was pounding away and she let one rip out. It wasn't a queef. I instantly put her legs down and went soft. We split up the next day. Granted, I was already planning on breaking up with her, but she wanted to fuck, so I figured, why not? I wish I hadn't.

AquaPython · 12-16-2008, 05:35 PM

that made me laugh cap'n

fnfalman · 12-16-2008, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flexin

Are these woman with the "fancy pussies" you talked about picking up with your favorite music?

James

One of them was definitely a "fancy pussy". The other ones range from skanky to average.

The fucked up thing is that they wouldn't even rip ass. At least then I would know. They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.

Lamnidae · 12-16-2008, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fnfalman

They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.

omfg i damn near spit spaghetti all over my keyboard when i read that.

ducati_atx · 12-16-2008, 08:37 PM

its just "calling" at you to stick your manstick in her brownhole..... plug it up so no more gas can come back out.

Particle Man · 12-16-2008, 11:25 PM

can't type... laughing too hard...

ericr · 12-17-2008, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fnfalman

They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.

O

M

G !!!!

I hurt now

Archren · 12-17-2008, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fnfalman

One of them was definitely a "fancy pussy". The other ones range from skanky to average.

The fucked up thing is that they wouldn't even rip ass. At least then I would know. They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.

OneSickPsycho · 12-17-2008, 01:08 AM

I like a chick who's not afraid to drop some ass...

t-homo · 12-17-2008, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xx CURVE xx

if she's hot enough i'll suck the fart straight out of her ass and inhale that bitch

Probably the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life.

12-16-2008, 11:25 PM	#36
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	can't type... laughing too hard... __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

12-16-2008, 08:37 PM	#35
ducati_atx Yuppie Prick Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 223	its just "calling" at you to stick your manstick in her brownhole..... plug it up so no more gas can come back out.

12-17-2008, 01:08 AM	#39
OneSickPsycho Ride Like an Asshole Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: nothing... Posts: 11,254	I like a chick who's not afraid to drop some ass...