If you're not a fan of tapioca pudding.... - Page 2

smileyman · 11-21-2008, 01:19 PM

"Sweetie, where is the semen?"

"Dammit woman, its right here with the cummin!"

"Darling, can I have some help in the kitchen? The Smiths are coming over tonite and I need you to stir this and then beat off into it..."

Dnyce · 11-28-2008, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smileyman

"Sweetie, where is the semen?"

"Dammit woman, its right here with the cummin!"

"Darling, can I have some help in the kitchen? The Smiths are coming over tonite and I need you to stir this and then beat off into it..."

lol, hey if shes the cook, shes gotta get the semen outta u, preferably by mouth

Mr Lefty · 01-26-2009, 05:51 PM

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/...h-semen-347495

Quote:

Strangest new food concept: Cooking with semen by Epicurious.com, on Thu Jan 8, 2009 1:30pm PST Read More from This Author » 116 Comments Post a Comment Report Abuse Exactly how dedicated are you to the concepts of recycling, scrimping and using all-natural products in your food?
If you're willing to put your money-shot where you mouth is, you'd send away for a copy of the cookbook "Natural Harvest," which goes into stomach-churning detail about how to store, prepare and serve semen as food.

Yes, it has really, erm, come to this.

"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties," the book's description goes. "Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that."

And, yes, it appears to be a real book, and a second edition is already on the way.

Right off the bat, you get a recipe for a cocktail (a White Russian, naturally):

2 oz. vodka
1 oz. coffee liqueur
cream or milk
ice cubes
1/2 oz. semen

Then there are the "Creamy Cum Crepes," which are regular crepes filled with cottage cheese and two tablespoons of man juice. Yum.

I'm suddenly reminded of that Vice magazine where the guy ate frozen lollipops of his own man seed. (And then vomits profusely, if I remember correctly.)

And there are tips I'll bet you didn't know about cooking with sperm, like:

- Semen cooks like egg whites, not mayonnaise.

- If you want good-tasting semen, drink lots of ginger tea (at least that's what the chefs working on the cookbook found out for themselves).

- If you want to maximize your semen output, collect it after a restful night's sleep or extended

foreplay. Suddenly that Family Life class where you learned about "teaspoonfuls of ejaculate" makes sense, huh?

Intriguing or gross? Would any of you try a semen-based recipe? Let the innuendo-laden puns commence!

OneSickPsycho · 01-26-2009, 05:56 PM

I have immediately become a food supplier.

the chi · 01-26-2009, 10:30 PM

I think I may be ill...

Mr Lefty · 01-26-2009, 10:31 PM

according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...

Ninjakel · 01-26-2009, 10:32 PM

woah!!!!

Trip · 01-26-2009, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebbs15

according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...

lol........instant classic

AquaEv77 · 01-26-2009, 10:40 PM

FT BSTRD · 01-26-2009, 11:01 PM

So does a pearl necklace classify as a food fight?

11-21-2008, 01:19 PM	#11
smileyman White Trash Hero Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NW Arkansas Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition Posts: 4,895	"Sweetie, where is the semen?" "Dammit woman, its right here with the cummin!" "Darling, can I have some help in the kitchen? The Smiths are coming over tonite and I need you to stir this and then beat off into it..." __________________ Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!

01-26-2009, 10:32 PM	#17
Ninjakel Post whorette Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Florida Moto: 2006 GSXR 600- Posts: 3,992	woah!!!! __________________ I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker. --Ron Burgundy-- Anchorman

01-26-2009, 11:01 PM	#20
FT BSTRD Tractor Driver Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Franklin, TN Moto: Buell XB12X Ulysses Posts: 1,007	So does a pearl necklace classify as a food fight? __________________ "I do get tired of reading,'my buddy is a racer and says the Buell will never work' I always want to say 'Who the FCK is your buddy and is he faster than Shawn Higbee?" --Erik Buell*

01-26-2009, 05:56 PM	#14
OneSickPsycho Ride Like an Asshole Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: nothing... Posts: 11,254	I have immediately become a food supplier.

01-26-2009, 10:31 PM	#16
Mr Lefty TWFix Legend Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Denver CO Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar Posts: 15,677	according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...

01-26-2009, 10:40 PM	#19
AquaEv77 SPEED RACER Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 377