is pr0n still innocent if...

[Cory]

Originally Posted by Avatard

Likewise, withholding sex, and showing your tits to others won't make him listen more, it will make him resent you more, and make the two of you more distant.

Try "paying forward" the love, rather than withholding, and see how that works.

I agree..but I also know that if it has come to withholding sex and sending dirty pics to other people "paying it forward" is probably the LAST thing she wants to do right now. Unless of course she is paying it forward with a steak knife.

I suggest TALKING to your so. If he won't listen, try harder. Hurting him by sending pics to someone else against his wishes is only going to make the situation worse. The whole "if you won't pay attention to me then I will find someone who will" only EVER ends badly.

[Captain Morgan]

Amazingly good advice in here. Hope you listen, Kim.

[Amber Lamps]

Originally Posted by drewpy

withholding sex/or sexual acts as punishment is fcked up....

Yea well, that type of thinking is incredibly stupid. My girl has a pussy not the pussy... If she is unwilling to satisfy my needs, I'm sure that I can have my needs met elsewhere...

[racedoll]

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

My manager's live-in girlfriend is a stripper. I feel weird getting lap dances from her when we all go out to the club. But she's the hottest stripper in the club...

You really need to find a new club or location to live... sounds like that place sucks.

Originally Posted by itgirl

wow, you're thorough. no on all accounts.

i used to have real issues with porn. i thought it was just awful and wanted my husband having nothing to do with it. the girls may have been anonymous, but the feeling of betrayal was still the same for me. it was still my husband viewing another person naked.

..instead of you...

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

Yes, he should have taken your feelings into consideration and looked at porn less. Or at least take care of your needs in the bedroom, even if he took care of his own needs while you were gone.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by TIGGER

I will say that since your um, upgrades, I'm sure that your self esteem is higher which has made you more tolerant of porn. Before when you weren't so gifted it hurt because you felt inadequate but now you can look at the pics and say, "Ha mine are nicer!" I'm sure that it's all about self esteem on both sides. Now that you are hotter, he feels less secure. He wouldn't be the first guy whose SO got enhanced and later bolted on him. I bet he notices every leer and hears every comment when you enter a room.

Good point Tigger.

Originally Posted by Avatard

Take a week, and focus all of your sexuality on him, and seducing him, and see if he becomes more attentive, and more of an active partner. Men equate how much sex they get from their women with how much they are wanted and desired in the relationship. If you show no desire, you tell him you don't really like him, and if you send that vibe, you shouldn't act shocked if he doesn't listen or engage you.

Try "paying forward" the love, rather than withholding, and see how that works.

There are a few men out there that don't speak this "love language", mine for example.

Originally Posted by Cory

I suggest TALKING to your so. If he won't listen, try harder. Hurting him by sending pics to someone else against his wishes is only going to make the situation worse. The whole "if you won't pay attention to me then I will find someone who will" only EVER ends badly.

Kim - have you tried sending your husband your pictures? Maybe a little role playing is in order.

[itgirl]

thanks everyone. i am taking all suggestions under advisement. and i'm going to bow out of the discussion now as well. i have prbably shared way too much of my personal life and will practice filtering my thoughts a bit. continue to discuss if you like though.

[EpyonXero]

Originally Posted by CrazyKell

Ya I can't even imagine this. I mean, I can't imagine wanting to use that as punishment. Crazy.

At least most guys know that you dont get what you want by holding out, you get what you want by dicknotizing your girl.

[2up]

Originally Posted by Cory

I agree..but I also know that if it has come to withholding sex and sending dirty pics to other people "paying it forward" is probably the LAST thing she wants to do right now. Unless of course she is paying it forward with a steak knife.

I suggest TALKING to your so. If he won't listen, try harder. Hurting him by sending pics to someone else against his wishes is only going to make the situation worse. The whole "if you won't pay attention to me then I will find someone who will" only EVER ends badly.

What she said.

And I don't think she should have to stick her tits in her husband's face to get his attention. I'm thinking marriage counseling or divorce are the only 2 real options here.

[Avatard]

Originally Posted by 2up

What she said.

And I don't think she should have to stick her tits in her husband's face to get his attention.

No, but she wouldn't be seeking attention elsewhere in that manner, if she didn't need it. I would venture to say if she redirected that energy and attention at him, it would be far more likely to have a positive result than what she's doing.

Originally Posted by 2up

I'm thinking marriage counseling or divorce are the only 2 real options here.

Yeah, because digging yourself, and realizing that you're doing a destructive thing to the relationship is really so over-rated.

Besides, shrinks needs jobs too.

Or maybe she could try engaging him more, and I'd bet dollars to donuts the shit works...men aren't wired all that complicated.

[2up]

Originally Posted by Avatard

No, but she wouldn't be seeking attention elsewhere in that manner, if she didn't need it. I would venture to say if she redirected that energy and attention at him, it would be far more likely to have a positive result than what she's doing.

Yeah, because digging yourself, and realizing that you're doing a destructive thing to the relationship is really so over-rated.

Besides, shrinks needs jobs too.

Or maybe she could try engaging him more, and I'd bet dollars to donuts the shit works...men aren't wired all that complicated.

I assure you that its an over-simplification to say "men aren't wired all that complicated." She stated outright that her husband doesn't listen to her when she speaks. If a kid throws a temper tantrum it doesn't mean they wish they would get punished and figured out the best way to do that. She's not just unhappy with their sex life so why try to just get laid? There are deeper issues here and sometimes it does take an objective third party to work issues out.

[Eeyore]

Originally Posted by 2up

I assure you that its an over-simplification to say "men aren't wired all that complicated." She stated outright that her husband doesn't listen to her when she speaks. If a kid throws a temper tantrum it doesn't mean they wish they would get punished and figured out the best way to do that. She's not just unhappy with their sex life so why try to just get laid? There are deeper issues here and sometimes it does take an objective third party to work issues out.

You are as wise as you are lovely!