Warning all NYC tourists

[pauldun170]

If you are snooty when asking for directions you will be provided with the wrong directions.

[Lucky3623]

Originally Posted by pauldun170

If you are snooty when asking for directions you will be provided with the wrong directions.

if you ride the subway, wear your iPod... otherwise you are get people looking at you like you are a douchebag...

[azoomm]

In Chi used to pick out nOObies on the train and just stare at them... kind of like getting on an elevator straight in and not turning around to face the door. It makes people really uncomfortable.

[G-Rex]

Originally Posted by pauldun170

If you are snooty when asking for directions you will be provided with the wrong directions.

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all.

[azoomm]

Originally Posted by G-Rex

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all.

No, the locals are assholes - there's a difference

[pauldun170]

Originally Posted by azoomm

No, the locals are assholes - there's a difference

Only to fricken Texans.

Any asshole who comes here thinking we give a shit about there hat as they stand in the middle of the sidewalk staring at commuters as if they were aliens while spending half an hour asking how to get Time Square (you're in Time Square asshole....if you didn't have that stupid hat you'd notice the fucking lights) gets treated poorly.

AND I've been called an asshole by taller women than you...

[azoomm]

[pout] but, it's a compliment [/pout]

[Lucky3623]

Originally Posted by pauldun170

Only to fricken Texans.

Any asshole who comes here thinking we give a shit about there hat as they stand in the middle of the sidewalk staring at commuters as if they were aliens while spending half an hour asking how to get Time Square (you're in Time Square asshole....if you didn't have that stupid hat you'd notice the fucking lights) gets treated poorly.

AND I've been called an asshole by taller women than you...

You don't like my trucker hat (I love breaking TX stereotypes)?

[pauldun170]

Originally Posted by G-Rex

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all.

Normally I would take that from the likes of you....but since the only reference I have is the guy with the plucked eyebrows and rosy cheeks who is engaged to Carolina...I'm going to let it go.

You remind me of one the little porcelain cherub statues my grandmother used to keep in the living room. She used to always bring me Hess Trucks..

since I associate you with Hess Trucks...I'm going to let your comment go.

Once you and Carolina are married, all bets are off.

[Method]

Originally Posted by Lucky3623

if you ride the subway, wear your iPod... otherwise you are get people looking at you like you are a douchebag...

A few other tips for the NYC tourists:

Also be sure to walk slowly and erraticaly in a line in order to block the entire sidewalk during rush hour.

Don't forget to take 15 minutes to place an order for anything while an increasingly angry line stacks up behind you, exponentially increasing your chances for an asskicking.

The only way to hail a cab is standing at the back of the sidewalk as close to the building as possible. It's even more effective trying to hail a cab while you're standing 50ft back on the street, and the cab is driving up/down the avenue.

Completely block the escalators instead of standing to one side so the non-fatasses can walk up them.

Talk loudly on your cellphone while riding the train (LIRR/MTA/NJTransit)

Ask me for directions to 5th avenue while we're standing on the corner of 5th and 50th.

Get drunk as hell and randomly puke on the hood of my cab while stopped at a light in soho (that cabbie was pissed haha)

Have zero ability to understand how the subway turnstiles work.

..

Holy crap I have a lot more. Where did all this angst come from. lol