This is what I want for fathers day

[derf]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/76162425.html

Dearest Wife, this is what I want for Fathers Day.

Date: 2005-05-31, 12:12AM PDT

Every year you ask what I want for Father's Day with the kids (conveniently?) sitting right in front of us, and every year I provide G-rated suggestions because (call me a prude) its sorta not appropriate to ask for sexual favors in front of the kids. So in the off chance you're reading the rants or looking for a poolboy, even though we don't have a pool, here's what I really want:

I want to wake up to you sucking my cock. Defined, this means that I'm asleep and you go down on me while I'm asleep, not after 45 minutes of me pretending to be asleep and dreaming of winning the blow job lottery. Please skip the requisite if-I-have-to sigh and eye rolling for one day.

I want a breakfast including eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit. No carb-packed wheat-byproducts, nothing frozen, nothing out of a box, and especially nothing in individually wrapped servings.

I want to have a fun day doing anything except what is on the honey-do list. Anything on the do-honey list is perfectly OK.

Examples:
Giving me grief while watching Nascar Sunday is not a good idea.
Giving me head while watching Nascar Sunday is a great idea.
Asking me to dig some holes in the backyard is not a good idea.
Asking me to plug your hole in your backdoor is a great idea.
Taking the kids out for a while and letting me nap would be nice.
Taking my cock out and sucking it after my nap would be nicer.

For dinner, I want a slab of red meat. Fresh, premium, not shrink wrapped. BBQ'd, not nuked or broiled. Rare. So rare a good veterinarian can revive it. A tall, cold beer. And fresh vegetables on the side, although it's unlikely I'll eat them, so I don't know why I bothered mentioning them.

After the kiddies are asleep, I want sex. Uninhibited, sweaty, porn star sex. Gone for the night is the bored housewife in boring clothes reading a boring book, I am going to be the dominant male and you to be my submissive anything-to-please-daddy fuck-slut.

I want you wearing something erotic. Defined, 'erotic' includes leather, lace, high heels, crotchless, racy, etc. 'Erotic' probably includes that thing you bought for Valentines Day two years ago that never made it out of the drawer. 'Erotic' does not include baggy jammies, grandma underwear, furry slippers, sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweatsocks, or the asexual garments you wear the other 364 days.

I want my cock sucked again, deep throated, like you can't get enough, and when I cum, I want you to savor it like it's Godiva white chocolate. Don't give me that 'it tastes funny'crap; lick it up and suck it up and smile all the way.

I want you fucking me like its the last dick you'll be getting for a while. Acceptable positions are on your knees, on top, doggie style, bent over, hanging from the ceiling, pretty much anything except missionary on the bed. Slap your ass cheeks, rub your clit, pinch your nipples, talk dirty, suck me often, and most importantly, finger your ass. Finger your ass until its ready for my cock, then beg for my cock up your ass and fuck it like you did with your pussy.

When I cum, yes, I'm cumming in your ass. I don't care if you get the runs tomorrow, I am cumming in your ass. Because it feels great. And then I'll fuck your ass until I'm limp and resigned to waiting another 365 days to tap your ass again.

Because Dear Wife, it's Father's Day, my day, and that's what I really want.

[Trip]

nice, lol

[askmrjesus]

That guy should work for Hallmark.

JC

[VatorMan]

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

That guy should work for Hallmark.

JC

[Trip]

This should be more like your birthday instead of father's day though. The wife doesn't owe the husband a damn thing, the kids do. Same with mother's day, the husband doesn't owe the wife shit on that day, the kids do.

[LeeNetworX]

Originally Posted by Trip

This should be more like your birthday instead of father's day though. The wife doesn't owe the husband a damn thing, the kids do. Same with mother's day, the husband doesn't owe the wife shit on that day, the kids do.

So you think it's not needed to show your appreciation to your wife for being a good mother to your children? For teaching them right from wrong when you aren't there to do it yourself? To discipline them when they do wrong, to praise them when they do good, to ensure they are fed, clean, and educated and all of their emotional and physical needs met?

It's not about kids owing something to their mother on Mother's Day or their father on Father's Day. It's about the Mother or Father being shown appreciation for everything they do for their children and family as a whole. Are they Hallmark holidays? Probably. But that's what the point of them is, IMO.

[Trip]

Originally Posted by LeeNetworX

So you think it's not needed to show your appreciation to your wife for being a good mother to your children? For teaching them right from wrong when you aren't there to do it yourself? To discipline them when they do wrong, to praise them when they do good, to ensure they are fed, clean, and educated and all of their emotional and physical needs met?

It's not about kids owing something to their mother on Mother's Day or their father on Father's Day. It's about the Mother or Father being shown appreciation for everything they do for their children and family as a whole. Are they Hallmark holidays? Probably. But that's what the point of them is, IMO.

The point of them is however you celebrate them. Not everyone celebrates Christmas the same exact fucking way or even celebrates it at all. I have a Korean coworker that doesn't, they celebrate a single day that he calls "Parents Day."

Mothers/Fathers Day in my family has always been a day for the children to show their appreciation to their mother/father, not the fucking spouses. If the children are too young, then the spouse will fill in to help the kids out, but as soon as you are old enough the other spouse backs the fuck off. That's how it has always worked in my extended and close family.

I would be ashamed of myself if my Mom had to do anything (well besides the sexual shit that is in this post) for my Dad on Father's Day.

[LeeNetworX]

Originally Posted by Trip

The point of them is however you celebrate them.

No shit, that's why I shared my OPINION. I even pointed that out in the end. Then you go and get all excited and FUCK this and FUCKING that. Take a fucking breath. Christ.

[Trip]

Originally Posted by LeeNetworX

No shit, that's why I shared my OPINION. I even pointed that out in the end. Then you go and get all excited and FUCK this and FUCKING that. Take a fucking breath. Christ.

Fuck you,

[Rangerscott]

Everyone to the orgy pile.