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Old 05-31-2009, 08:59 PM   #1
askmrjesus
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Default WSBK at Miller: a rant

I want throw a brick through my TV. I want to throw that brick all the way up my satellite cable, into space, over the mid west, and have it in land in Utah, were it will hopefully land on the producers from SPEED TV.

WSBK coverage from Miller Motorsports Park this weekend, was beyond lame. Disco was cooler, and I fucking hate Disco. Meerkat Manor would have been more interesting, and I hate Meerkats, even more than I hate Disco. They're not even actual cats. I don't even know what they are, but they're not cats, so fuck them. Fucking burrowing rat, cat posers.

Anyway, I digress.

I'm not a big fan of the track to begin with. It's boring, it's ugly, it's dusty, it's in fucking UTAH! Enough said.

But the main point of this particular rant, is what was supposed to pass for commentary.

The main players were:

Brown haired guy who isn't Scott Russell, Scott Russell and Greg, (I'm a douche bag named Greg) White.

Brown haired guy who isn't Scott Russell: Where the fuck did they find your sorry ass? Were the SPEED TV producers trolling bus stations for out of work, boat show door prize winner announcers? You suck. Yeah, we noticed, xxx is out in front. Did you notice anything else that might have been happening out on the track? No, you did not. Why? Because you suck. I would say that you sucked balls, but even balls have more self respect, than to be sucked by you. Fuck you, go away.

Scott Russell: I have to give you a pass here, because on a bike, you were truly something to watch, (at least you were, until you started picking fights in Daytona harley bars, and got your head bashed in) but off a bike, you're as exciting as watching paint dry, on growing grass. You're also kind of creepy looking. Maybe radio?

Greg, (I'm a douche bag named Greg) White: What do we have to do, to get rid of this of soul-crushingly ignorant cocksucker? "I was talking to Ruben Xaus about electronics, or "Chaus", as he likes to say it...." Dude, it's HIS. FUCKING. NAME. He knows how to pronounce it. You don't. You, and the brown haired guy who isn't Scott Russell, should go back to the boat show, buy some underage girls some Bud-Lights, get rejected, and fucking kill yourselves. Assholes.

The 250GP is waiting for me. I need to hear some Englishmen call a race, before I kill somebody.

JC
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Old 05-31-2009, 10:23 PM   #2
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LOL you must be talking about Ralph Shaheen.

He used to only do SX/MS commentary but they've since bumped him up into AMA Primetime hosting that show as well.(another unknown took his place for the MX season)


And Scott Russell is pretty creepy looking haha. That's why they put him in a "voice" situation.
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Old 05-31-2009, 10:36 PM   #3
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Agreed...

Ralph Shaheen = Douchbag, past his prime.

Scott Russell = Seems like he just smoked a bowl before doing his commentary

Greg White = Complete douche bag, has never been anything but a complete douche bag


I miss the Brit's commentaries on most ANY 125 or 250 race or the 500cc Moto GP guys from the movie Faster
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Old 05-31-2009, 10:47 PM   #4
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I'm glad I wasn't the only ones out there thinking this
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:06 PM   #5
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I hate when WSBK comes to the US because our commentators can't pronouce any of the names correctly. They need to make those guys watch a few WSBK races before trying to commentate on it here. It just goes to show how stupid the Americans can be!
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:58 PM   #6
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I almost made a thread too.

Not only do they babble on about stuff that is not even happening in the race but then Ralph APOLOGIZES to Russel for interrupting when something exciting happened IN THE RACE THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE TALKING ABOUT! I LOVE Jonathan Green because he YELLS over Steve Martin when anything even remotely exciting happens. That is how it should be!

We need to get Speed's address and EACH send a letter about how awful those guys are.
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:34 AM   #7
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I met Ralph Shaheen once at a Jennings trackday. His on-air douchbaggery is only matched by the real life douchbaggery. He's a fucking toolbox...
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Old 06-01-2009, 02:09 AM   #8
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I watched race one and then quickly downloaded race 2 and the WSS race with proper British commentators and no commercials!
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:09 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DLIT View Post
I watched race one and then quickly downloaded race 2 and the WSS race with proper British commentators and no commercials!



I don't even attempt to watch anything on speed... it pisses me off way too much...

just wish my fuck'n torrents would work... haven't been able to down load anything for a couple months... fuck'n ghey
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:05 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riceaholic View Post
I met Ralph Shaheen once at a Jennings trackday. His on-air douchbaggery is only matched by the real life douchbaggery. He's a fucking toolbox...
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