Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-01-2009, 04:15 AM   #1
OneSickPsycho
Ride Like an Asshole
 
OneSickPsycho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: nothing...
Posts: 11,254
Default Honeycomb...

So my folks are staying with me... been here since Christmas and will be here until they close on their new house here in FL... Anywho, they LOVE Publix and are crackwhores for anything buy one, get one free. They come home with shit they'd normally never buy because of the deal... Typical American excess consumers.

One of their most recent purchases was two giant boxes of Honeycomb cereal. Never been a huge fan, but it's ok... I like the ease of cereal so I've been eating some... I've come to the conclusion... Honeycomb makes me poop.

I thought it was a fluke thing until tonight... I pounded a giant bowl for dinner around 8pm... and after watching the fights at a buddy's house, it was a photo finish getting back to the crib, in the door, leg brace off, and ass onto the toilet seat. I literally took the biggest shit I've ever taken in my entire life...

Started out as a solid log... decent diameter and probably a foot long... then a couple turds of similar diameter, but only a couple inches long each... a couple big farts, then Honeycomb disaster. I dropped a pile of soft serve that could have filled four very large cupped hands.

After the dizziness subsided, I stood up to survey the damage and knew immediately, there was no way this shit was going down... It took, no BS, like 8 flushes to get all the poo down... amazingly, the toilet never really clogged for more than a second or two... Just as amazing was the fact that it only took two wipes to clean up, though the second one was merely a precautionary measure.

So... long story short... Honeycomb makes you poop like an Olympic athelete on softball sized Ex-Lax suppositories.
OneSickPsycho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 04:20 AM   #2
Quick281
Victim of Blazer Rapage
 
Quick281's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Talkeetna, AK
Moto: 06 GSXR 600
Posts: 1,707
Default

What a story.

I don't eat cereal since my stomach rarely agrees with it.
__________________
-Alex-
Resident TWFix Noob.


My 06 GSXR 600 <-- Its Clickable Fools.
Quick281 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 10:34 AM   #3
ericr
I'm so much cooler online
 
ericr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cartersville, GA
Moto: 06 FZ1
Posts: 1,436
Default

THanks for sharing OSP
__________________
Redd: No, Im good, I had some ibufrophen

Eric: ibu what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
but I'm perfectly placed when I'm on my knees . . . .
ericr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 10:34 AM   #4
rogue
Wanting to Go Back!!!!
 
rogue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: North Louisiana
Moto: A Twin
Posts: 4,067
Default

Wow.

At least you didn't take a picture of said poo.
__________________
The key to living a full life is to live dangerously, yet not dying stupidly.


My knee pads may be Air-Ride and chrome plated but I have standards as to who I use them on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonpaco
so you're just a cougar who doesnt hunt.....a domesticated cougar
Myspace
rogue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 10:54 AM   #5
Flexin
AMA Supersport
 
Flexin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 2,698
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
Wow.

At least you didn't take a picture of said poo.
When I was younger I had a townhouse with three other guys. One guy there wouldn't flush so he could show everyone his "trophy".

James
Flexin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 11:02 AM   #6
rogue
Wanting to Go Back!!!!
 
rogue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: North Louisiana
Moto: A Twin
Posts: 4,067
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flexin View Post
When I was younger I had a townhouse with three other guys. One guy there wouldn't flush so he could show everyone his "trophy".

James
There was a couple of times Wade took a pic of his and send them to me via text!

Imagine my surprise when I opened those up!
__________________
The key to living a full life is to live dangerously, yet not dying stupidly.


My knee pads may be Air-Ride and chrome plated but I have standards as to who I use them on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonpaco
so you're just a cougar who doesnt hunt.....a domesticated cougar
Myspace
rogue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 01:15 PM   #7
Archren
Sham WOW
 
Archren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ATX
Moto: 2007 Ducati 1098
Posts: 2,741
Default

OMG, funniest shit evah (pun intended)..
__________________
Photography

"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time. It was impossible."
- Hunter S. Thompson, Song of the Sausage Creature

"Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
Archren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2009, 07:11 PM   #8
CrazyKell
Vrooom
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Moto: 06 ZX6R
Posts: 4,427
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
There was a couple of times Wade took a pic of his and send them to me via text!
I say this with as much love as I can......you are SO much better off without an asshat like that. Seriously.
CrazyKell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2009, 12:08 PM   #9
Rsv1000R
WERA White Plate
 
Rsv1000R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,059
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
Wow.

At least you didn't take a picture of said poo.
We don't really know he didn't, He just might not have posted it (yet).
Rsv1000R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2009, 12:26 PM   #10
AquaPython
put it THIS way
 
AquaPython's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,185
Default

happiness is an illusion, that we all blindly run after. but in reality, happiness in life only comes in spurts.
eating a fucking chololate chip cookie.
a 5 second orgasm.
taking a massive , biblical shit, and only having to wipe twice, and the second wipe was only out of disbelief that the first one was more than sufficient.
__________________
Quote:
...it'd be like finding a human vagina on your unicorn. Literally fucking incredible.
AquaPython is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:46 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.